The Never Ending Story should've been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
by Eddie Soh
October 31, 2015 at 10:26AM
from Facebook
via IFTTTfrom Facebook
via IFTTT
Friday 30 October 2015
STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME - Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
Thursday 29 October 2015
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
It's cute that kids think they're safer with the light on, when actually it makes you more vulnerable and easier to spot.
Wednesday 28 October 2015
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the Judge.
Mankind is capable of unimaginable feats of engineering and yet the windows on the airplane never line up with the seats.
Tuesday 27 October 2015
My grandma can hold her breath for over sixteen years!
I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.
Monday 26 October 2015
I was feeling depressed, then saw a guy with one arm and thought "oh man, I could be getting so much more sympathy if I was missing an arm!" (You will get this joke if you spend enough time with a depression patient)
I was feeling depressed, then saw a guy with one arm and thought "oh man, I could be getting so much more sympathy if I was missing an arm!" (You will get this joke if you spend enough time with a depression patient)
by Eddie Soh
October 27, 2015 at 12:07PM
from Facebook
via IFTTTfrom Facebook
via IFTTT
by Eddie Soh
October 27, 2015 at 12:07PM
from Facebook
via IFTTTfrom Facebook
via IFTTT
i have two moods: ・sleep is for the weak ・sleeping for a week
Sunday 25 October 2015
"Half a dozen" because saying '6' is way too long...
I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children.
My wife is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around.
I tell my girlfriend I love her all the time and all she says are things like "make a left in 200 metres" and "you've reached your destination."
Friday 23 October 2015
You look like something I'd draw with my left hand
If you hear one of the high piano keys repeating slowly, you’re either watching a trailer for a horror movie, or you are a parent.
Thursday 22 October 2015
Me: You're going to disagree with this statement. Wife: No I'm not.
The scariest room in a haunted house would be filled with people you haven't seen since high school asking what you've been up to these days
Wednesday 21 October 2015
We buried my mother-in-law yesterday. - Sorry to hear that. When did she die? - My guess would be sometime this morning.
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
Monday 19 October 2015
God created cholesterol to prevent the mass extinction of cow, goats and certain sea shell creatures.
Doctor: this might hurt a little bit Me: okay Doctor: i like you, but only as a friend
I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse.
Saturday 17 October 2015
Real women don't wish their enemies would die, just that they'll get fat.
One drink, I feel glamorous Two, I get amorous Three, a bit stammerous Anymore than four, I'm on the floor, all drooly and hammerous
New way to troll your enemy in Msia. Put his/her contact number and name in mudah.my for a car for sale that is way below market. (Encountered 3 baffled victims so far)
Friday 16 October 2015
Don’t do drugs, kids. The extra demand will drive up the price for the rest of us.
Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here Someone peed here My dog when we go for a walk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)